Wednesday, 8 March 2017

Broken Shells

If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. Old things have passed away behold all things have become new. 2 Corinthians 5:17

Late at night, laid on my bed lost in my thoughts. Thinking about life, what it used to be like, what I used to do thinking they were my gateway to a fun and fulfilled life. How wrong was I? I never knew there was something called being saved, I was never brought up in church or stepped my feet in a church before, so I didn’t have an idea what living in Jesus was like but then that changed. The fateful day my life changed, I never knew it could have changed, I didn’t know I could ever find peace, I thought life could never be good or fair to me but God knew me as His creation and he never forgot me.

As usual, I had just been battered by my boyfriend. He was very lovely and he showed me all the love and care I didn’t get from my own father who ran away long before I was even born. I felt I needed a male figure in my life to give me love, so I started searching for love in the hands of men who had that love to offer. They all knew my weakness and that was exactly what was used against me. My boyfriend beats me up at the slightest opportunity, but starts to plead and profess love to me as soon as I was done and ready to leave for good. I found myself in a circle and I was just going round and round. I could not leave due to fear of being alone or the fear of not finding that love. My mother could not really be bothered about what was going on in my life, as far as she was concerned I was an adult that could take care of herself so yeah I had no one to talk to.

After being battered with bruises that fateful day, I walked into KFC, got myself a meal and sat in a corner to cry myself out. That was unusual of me because I would normally just sit in my room and cry after my usual beating but that day God was ready to change my situation. It was God’s time, so he pushed me right out and I didn’t care what people thought of me I just cried. Then 2 lovely ladies came up to me, they were so concerned and wanted to know why I was troubled. I was surprised because I know people will never normally do that but I didn’t care I wanted to let it out so I talked, cried, talked, cried till I let it all out. I wanted someone else to feel my pains with me, to understand the hurt I was going through and to assure me it was going to be ok.

They let me talk and pour myself out and that day I got saved, God touched me he purified me, he took me out of my hurt because all my pains had been nailed on the cross. I was freed because he rose on the third day. Now it wasn’t easy to let go of my old ways, it wasn’t easy to live a saved life, I kept falling but God kept reminding me that I am a Christian because I have realized that I am not perfect, and I know only him can be the perfection in my life. I had days when I felt like It wasn’t possible to live a saved life, days when I struggle to believe in God, days when I go back to that sin and I feel dirty about asking God for forgiveness, days when I feel that I have failed completely and people out there are judging me but God reminds me that all his creations are a product of his grace, he reminded me that I will always fall short of his glory but because His grace is sufficient for me and He is alive then my life is worth a living. His word in 2 Corinthians 12:9 says “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me”
Always remember when you feel out of place, when the world feels like its ending or crashing on you, when you are in desperate need of love, when you start thinking its only those male figures out there that can provide you love. Remember that your father in heaven is the only true love.
1 John 4:16 says
Now we have come to know and believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God and God abides in him.
John 3:16;
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only son, that whoever believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.
What manner love can beat this type of love? Always remember this because He is the only one that can give you the type of love you need.
Are struggling with that one sin? You want to change but you keep going back to it? Drinking, stealing, sexual sin, lying, backbiting, gossiping… the list goes on. Whatever sin it is you are struggling with God sees your heart, he knows your struggle and he knows you want to change. All you need to remember is that he wants to use you, let him break you, mold you, and use you. Don’t try too hard to overcome it on your own because you can’t do it on your own, only He can help you, only He can deliver you.

“Come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest” Matthew 11:28
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9

“Repent then and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the lord.” Acts 3:19

Tuesday, 15 July 2014

Mustard seed

“I assure you that if you have faith as big as a mustard seed, you can say to the hill ‘go from here to there’ and it will go” Matthew 17:20.

I felt so proud on that day when I wore that graduation gown, my parents were so proud of me for making them proud with a first class honors degree. It was the first of its kind in my family so you can imagine how happy my African mother was. It was indeed a memorable day, day I will never forget no matter how hard I try, it was one of those days you look back and smile knowing your hardwork paid off.

Looking back right now however, I don’t know if I should keep smiling or to start crying because that memory was almost 2years ago and I still haven’t landed my dream job, I have been going from one retail job to a customer service job. Sometimes I even find it hard to believe I graduated with a first class, I thought that was all I needed, I studied all night for three years to get this so why exactly haven’t I got my dream job yet? I doubt if God even loves or remembers me, I thought they said he is a merciful God, that His grace is sufficient for me? Well I definitely haven’t experienced the mercies or grace. It’s like God is punishing me for all my past sins now, but I asked for forgiveness and have been saved, been living a saved life ever since I rededicated my life so why will He choose to punish me this way. I am honestly tired but backsliding is not an option.

Just then my phone rings, I look at who is calling and the caller ID is withheld “who can this be” I thought. I pick up after the third ring, “Hello” I said, ‘Hi’ the voice on the other end replies and continues ‘I will like to speak to Demola Afolabi please’, “speaking” I replied, ‘oh hi, this is Lucy from Trush Engineering, we found your CV on one of the recruitment websites and we identified some exceptional skills you have which is a perfect fit for one of our job openings, because of the urgency in filling this position, we will not be able to conduct any interviews as we will be providing training for whoever we recruit for the position. Before I continue, I will like to find out if you are still looking for a job sir?’ she finally pauses. “Ye, yes yes I am” I manage to say then she continues ‘oh that’s great sir, so will you like to accept this position so I can send you the contract for you to sign and send back to us as soon as possible?’ “Of course I accept” I said.

That's the last thing I remember from our discussion before tears started streaming freely from my face, I realized God is really not man that He should lie, I realized how amazing He is, His grace is definitely sufficient for us, His love isn’t based on what we have to offer Him, it’s based on the fact that He is love, His grace is not dependent on our past because no matter how hard we try to live right we will always fall short of His glory and only His grace can keep us going then the book of Isaiah 43:18-19 came to my mind it says Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert.

So I implore you, whatever it is you are going through or believing God for, remember God is God simply because He is and He will show forth for you at the right time but you need to believe and have faith that He will because He honors his words more than His name.

But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him. Hebrews 11:6

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1

So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. Romans 10:17

Tuesday, 28 January 2014

Bedroom Relationships

I was having a catch up session with one of my girlfriends recently and I was inspired to write on this topic. We got talking and she started telling me about this girl who has a ‘bedroom relationship’ with her boyfriend.
What I gathered from our conversation is that the said boyfriend does not like making his private life publicly known so that means no going out on dates of any kind. If they want to have a dinner date, it all goes down in the guy’s house with candles and all that stuff, if they want to watch a movie they will rather stay home and have their own home cinema. So basically the world does not know that they are an item, they are the only ones that know that they exist, pretty sad right? That's what I thought.

Now let’s get talking, I personally believe making your relationship life private is totally different from your partner not being proud of you. Why would you be in a 'committed' relationship with someone who isn't proud enough to take you out or even introduce you as his girl to anyone? Do you really think you are in a relationship or in some sort of joke? I am going to be blunt and straightforward here, there is no need sugar-coating this I think, it is very stupid for any girl to be in a committed relationship with a guy who isn't ready to show you off. A guy who is in love with you will be crazy about you and would be ready to show the world that he's got you.  The minute he begins to talk about wanting to keep you private he is not serious and he is probably just keeping you as an option. If he isn't ready to show you off he is not ready for commitment, he doesn't know what he wants, he doesn't know your worth and/ or he just isn't sure if you are what he wants. If you guys have only just started going out, then I can understand if he doesn't want it public yet but when it’s getting to about a year and he is still keeping it private?, girl have a rethink.

If a guy is confused about you, as a girl who knows her worth and knows God has prepared that one man for her you will help him decide by deleting yourself as one of his options (hard, I know). You are not an option and should never let any guy make you one. Your father (God) is a king and you are his princess so he already has a prince for you, the one who will know what your worth and be ready to show you off to the world. Simply because, princess don't get to be private. If you keep enduring this joke of a guy you will be missing out on the one God has prepared for you. Once you leave the joker, work on making yourself better as a single lady so when your prince comes you will be ready.

I know it’s easier said than done because you are madly in love with this guy but truth is you deserve better and in situations like that you have to push yourself, surround yourself with friends that can uplift your spirit, occupy your mind with productive things and you will see how well you will be doing. Never be an option to any guy because you are a priority to one guy.